Bertram & Co. Assorted Contraptions...

This sweetie box full of sugary sonic num-nums is brought to you by Bertram & Co. Assorted Contraptions. Some of them twang, some of them boing and an astonishing number of them explode, but Bertram & Co.'s collection of gadgets and whizbangs are guaranteed to amuse. Come down to your local Bertram's store now and get half off on all the apparatuses you can subdue.

Also! The makers of Watt's Medicinal Squid Juice, comeWatt's All-In-One Cephalo-Tonic. Hand squeezed from artisan cuttlefish; Watt's All-In-One makes a great lubricant, laxative, baby formula, writing material, thesis subject, minor distraction, practical joke, and dessert topping. Ask for it - using your best squid impression (insert impression here) - by name!

As always, The Clockwork Cabaret comes tumbling out of the cupboard with the bursar's wife courtesy of WCOM-LP, Chapel Hill & Carrboro, which would like to remind you that tomorrow is No Blinking Day! Violators will be fined.

Now, if you'll excuse me, ladies, I have to crawl back into that barrel and find out what I've been doing for the past month. Do any of you know who Nora is? The letters I've been getting seem to indicate that this person is important.