Marcel Moreau's 'Guilt-Free Live Fur Coats'...

This sea worthy sound factory is brought to you by Marcel Moreau's 'Guilt-Free Live Fur Coats'. Surely you are aware of the pitiful plight of the poor ermine or the doomed rabbit? Destined to become the height of fashion, likewise you wish to look amazing come the winter and rightly think of fake fur as something poor people & the insane wear. Worry no longer! Thanks to the latest advances in veterinary surgery techniques, you can remain appropriately fabulous while living free from the despair of exterminating cute fuzzies. How!?! By wearing your fur while they're still alive! Marcel Moreau's 'Guilt-Free Live Fur Coats' provide warmth & style while their jolly wriggling and inhuman squeals are guaranteed to start conversations and discourage muggers. Don't get caught in the House of Plain! By a 'Guilt Free Live Fur Coat' today!

And, Ladies... lean back on your chaise lounge and loosen your corset, pull up your skirts, no, we won't tell your aunt, that your ankles are showing. Come the stroke of midnight the sitting room doors will slide open and there will appear your new lover, gleaming from a fresh polish and belching coal smoke, whispering into your ear,"YOUR EYES ARE LIKE LIMPID POOLS OF .. PLEASE REINSERT DISK." Millard Morefill, Robot Gigolo - His heart is aflame with passion, his face is aflame with faulty wiring.

And, as always, The Clockwork Cabaret slides into the cannon and then following a drum roll, it is expelled with explosive force into WCOM FM-LP Chapel Hill & Carrboro, which would like to remind you... LONDON.

Quality Quarter Farthings...

This comely sonic strumpet is brought to you by Quality Quarter Farthings. Your compatriots in the fast expanding past-time of cycling look dandy on their machines, but you cannot be expected to conform to their piddling peddling height. Enter the Quality Quarter Farthing. With a front wheel fully 25 times the size of a prole's penny farthing, you will instantly gain attention as you glide past, towering over your compatriots, street signs, most trees and select buildings. Additionally, everyone will marvel at your incredible wealth as it will largely be consumed by the wages required by the servants necessary to get you off and careening. Quality Quarter Farthings: Good Luck?

AND!! Gin! First it was for the poor, now the gentleman asks for more! Gin: finally, something to look forward to.

As always, The Clockwork Cabaret stands ready to charge across Crimea into the waiting cannon of WCOM-LP Chapel Hill & Carrboro. But don't fret, the cannon are just waiting for a coach to go visit Grandma-ma.