Klaude Davenport's Birthday...

This voluminous voluptuous venom is brought to you by KLAUDE DAVENPORT'S BIRTHDAY! Now sing the birthday song. The Clockwork Cabaret is brought to you by WCOM LP Chapel Hill & Carrboro. Now just keep writing so that they think you're making sponsors. Oh sweet Jesus of the Israelites, I am tired as all the balls of every possible world. I am definitely going to die if I have to go home. I will sleep under a barrel and pretend I am a shot fish.

And! Nothing. I am turning into a goblin. The sleep, she comes for me with knifes of blinky eyes. Soon, the blessed darkness of dreams and stars will seize me and on my bed ship, which is really shaped like a rocket, no lie, I will bust through Little Nemo and hit Slumberland like a effing bomb.

As always, blah blah blah.

Pecos Penny's Wild West Fish Rodeo...

Yabble babble doo dah to you by Pecos Penny's Wild West Fish Rodeo. Let your expectations of dusty plains be swept away, and your cowboy dreams get an overdue bath when you attend the most advanced demonstration in animal taunting ever presented to underwater human eyeballs. WITNESS trout diapering, cod blocking, a blood rousing game of octopus Red Rover and the popular singalong "Gat A Long Little Dugong". Never before have fish been so humiliated. Pecos Penny's Wild West Fish Rodeo. Wharglblrglbrglgrl!

And! Sleep! Precious sleep! Do you miss sleep? Sleep misses you. Comfy, wool-soft sleep. Available now, unwanted until one, Sleep. (pause) SLEEP.

As always, the Clockwork Cabaret broke Burnham's smoking ban and buried down the Peristyle, tragically resulting in WCOM-LP Chapel Hill & Carrboro, a call sign that will live in infamy.