Monday, May 17, 2010

Butterscotch Mills Creepy Doll Company...

This labyrinthine folderall is brought to you by Butterscotch Mills Creepy Doll Company. Our expert team of deranged spinsters handcraft an unnerving selection using a variety of quality bits and pieces found in witch attics. Thom Yorke-style assymetrically blinking eyes, tiny fist half-clenched in tepid anger, missing shoes and carefully distressed voice boxes that moan "MA MA" right before you fall asleep. Al these and many more vintage terrors await when your delivery arrives from the Butterscotch Mills Creepy Doll Company. Don't worry; they probably won't come to life.

And! The pollen is subsidized, the temperature is stabilizing and snotty toddlers have all wandered to the sandbox. You, however, are fairly certain the engineer is going to make you use your mouth to spit the coal into the boiler tomorrow. Quick! You need the phlegmy excuse that comes with Dr. Feelgood's Tubercular Confectionay! Yes, Dr' Feelgood's Tubercular Confectionary! Ask for it, while steadying yourself on a handrail, by name.

As always, the Clockwork Cabaret WCOM-LP Chapel Hill Carrboro (abridged version).